What’s worse than emailing a marketing piece to key decision makers, but instead of receiving orders for new business, you’re receiving orders to “Stop the madness!”

Nothing.

Such was the case recently when we were on the receiving end of an e-blast that went out from a photographer trying to market his service. By the looks of his very sophisticated website his work is fine.

But picture this…he enraged prospects with a poorly executed e-marketing campaign that resulted in responses like “Now everyone hates [you]” and “I will never use you.”

He was even accused of sending people an email worm.

There was a standard, boilerplate disclaimer at the end of his email indicating that people had received the email “as a result of your registration on photographer’s source database.”

This was not true; no one in our office had ever signed up to receive emails from this outfit.

But the real meltdown came when hundreds of e-mail recipients clicked UNSUBSCRIBE. Instead of the “regrets only” emails flying back to the web hosting company, they went to everyone on the email distribution. The UNSUBSCRIBE link was improperly programmed and not only did everyone receive the initial, unsolicited e-marketing piece, they also received hundreds of misdirected requests to be removed from the list.

Opt-out was not an UNSUBSCRIBE at all; it was a “reply all” which sparked even more angry emails that everyone received. “Wow – talk about an email marketing fail!” was one of the more polite responses.

Email marketing is a great way to reach key influencers but no one, from journalists to marketing professionals and senior corporate leaders wants to receive spam. Such is a given, so how do you target and reach your key audience?

1. If you say someone is receiving an email because they asked for it, make certain they have really opted in.
2. Work hard to create a qualified list of email recipients through opt-in settings on your Web site, e-blasts, newsletters, social media pages as well as other marketing materials and business prospecting.
3. Create marketing materials that are truly content rich, informative and will attract readers and subscribers.
4. Stick to your specialty; sharp execution is key. Don’t dabble in creating and blasting e-marketing pieces if that’s not your profession; consult with professionals.
5. Send materials that are creative and engaging; think hard about what would get you to open and read an e-marketing piece.

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but in this case, the final word was UNSUBSCRIBE.

Will it matter if I send or delete?

So much work, so little time. On a good day, we’ll reach out or get back to five or ten clients and prospects with consulting documents, articles, interactive marketing efforts, design comps, and estimates. Plus, we’ll respond to several dozen more clients and associates about business-related matters, and initiate contact with a few companies we’d like to get to know. Much of this happens by email.

Some days, what we get back bears so little resemblance to what we send out that we must naturally assume that our emails got scrambled and sent to the wrong recipients, and that in return, we’re getting emails meant for someone (who???) who wants to know:

I See Website You Need to Meet

Work from Home for $10000/month!

Start Your Heart Automatically

There are only a few reasons I can fathom for this disconnect, the first being a technical glitch so mysterious that even the most universally admired computer wonks (and you know who you are, don’t you?) can’t figure it out.

The second is that vSA works at a pace so much faster than ordinary humans that our missives shoot out almost as if into the future, and it therefore takes some time for our recipients even to receive them. Asynchrony of time, we’ll call it.

The third, less likely, is that our clients and prospects are variously busy; occupied with other, even more urgent projects; or, in rare cases, disinterested in what we’ve sent. While this is difficult for us to imagine, we’ve heard from other professionals that they’ve had the same impression.

It’s sort of like parallel play among small children – I email you what I’m thinking about. You email me what you’re thinking about. The emails are like two ships passing in the night. This year, some of our marketing programs are fun – really fun. We’re hoping this transitions the ships passing in the night to ships honking, waving and shouting words of affirmation to and fro: “This is great! Gotta do it again!”

I’ll be waiting at my in box, smiling.