Perhaps you’ve heard this possibly-true story before? British statesman and Prime Minister Winston Churchill, noted for his wit, at a party, talking with a socialite:

Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?
Socialite: My goodness, Mr. Churchill! Well, I suppose – we would have to discuss terms, naturally.
Churchill: Would you sleep with me for five pounds?
Socialite: Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!
Churchill: Madam, we’ve already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.

As a business owner, there’s one thing I like about this recession. Just one, I think. And that one thing is this: during “challenging times” (gotta love that phrase) people show you who they are. (And now we are just haggling about the price.) I like to take advantage of these moments of exposure. When people show me who they are, they’re doing me a favor, albeit unwittingly. Here’s a fab-u-lous opportunity to learn who I’m dealing with, and to determine how (and whether) to deal with that person again. In some cases, the phrase “it’ll be a dark day in hell” flashes like neon in front of my brain when thinking about re-engaging with a person. In others, I find a new friend or mentor.

Quiz: Does your boss/client/spouse/”friend” crush you beneath her heel when she finds herself in control? BAD SIGN!

Carefully observe…

The way very privileged people treat service personnel – the best people treat others the best, do they not? – the way employees treat their boss when raises fail to appear or life is crappy (I consider the French trend of holding the boss hostage when he lays you off to be in poor taste, for example), the rabid way Newt Gingrich behaves in the face of a popular Obama administration, and the way partners and spouses treat each other when the pressure is on… these actions and attitudes can all be taken seriously.

Me? I’m really trying to be nice… especially after I hit the “publish” button today!

Here’s guessing: 2009 will be a year during which more people than average experience life upheavals. With hundreds of thousands of layoffs, companies closing and money shrinking, it seems obvious that security elements of our lives are getting trampled. In a new book, The Tyranny of Dead Ideas by Matt Miller (jokingly characterized in one review as “Commie Pinko Socialism”) Miller proposes that we can’t expect what we’ve come to expect (health care from our employer, cradle-to-grave work from same said employer, etc.) and proposes new solutions. Government solutions, largely.

That’s one look at cataclysm, unexpected turns and renewal. Some of the change I expect to see, in myself and others, will be from within. Frankly, I’ve had a window-view of big change as of late – I lost a husband – a good one! – to heart disease suddenly in 2006, and my two young sons have done what young sons often do – they went off to college and life, calling and emailing me remarkably often but nonetheless no longer daily eating my hotdog casserole (recipe not necessary) or savoring my daily advice on Girls, Grades and Grammar. That was big change in my book, and I’m slowly following it with big renewal – closer ties with old and new friends, new love, a new blog (this one! this one!) new speaking engagements, and an updated love affair with boats. Plus, less visibly, a new viewpoint. A few examples: I can now imagine being released from a job (although since I’m self employed I can always have a job, just maybe no pay). Or ending a relationship (personal or business) that makes one feel uninspired or less than worthy. Or perhaps exchanging a spacious home and an hour-long commute for an apartment in town from which one can walk, or bike, to the office. These days I can imagine not only the fear, but also the eventual liberation that a once-unwanted change could bring. Fear and uncertainty aside, I finally see that big change can mean new opportunity – the cliche “when one door closes one door opens” is sometimes true.