A glance through my last couple of weeks’ email dispels – at least for me – the widely held concept that email has depersonalized communication, harshened our tone, and further isolated us from one another. Oh, sure, “you’ve got mail” on your screen is not the same as a perfumed note with dried violets inside (but how often did you ever get such a thing even in the “good old days” of snail mail?)

In my email, here are just a few happy examples received in just in the last few weeks:

From one high school friend to another, copied to a whole group of us scattered around the world, solace upon his losing a much-loved job (this was accompanied by an excellent essay on why and how he should consider self-employment):
To quote David Brown, “the rest of your life is the best of your life”.

A coworker from 25 years ago connected with me through email and shared these thoughts on children – his range from adults to a toddler, so he certainly knows:
When you have kids you get to watch how nature and nurture interact to make a whole person with his or her own quirks, strengths, weaknesses and, of course, with everything that makes us all human together.

And from a member of my book group, a heartfelt sentiment about middle age:
I can’t remember s**t these days.

I hear from someone in my family, or an old and new friend, nearly every day in part because no one needs a stamp to get in touch. And because email is easy and quick. That’s fine. Their emails feel to me as personal and wonderful as any note or card in the mailbox, plus simpler for the sender to accomplish than a phone call when time is short or schedules are odd. Email me anytime.

Here’s guessing: 2009 will be a year during which more people than average experience life upheavals. With hundreds of thousands of layoffs, companies closing and money shrinking, it seems obvious that security elements of our lives are getting trampled. In a new book, The Tyranny of Dead Ideas by Matt Miller (jokingly characterized in one review as “Commie Pinko Socialism”) Miller proposes that we can’t expect what we’ve come to expect (health care from our employer, cradle-to-grave work from same said employer, etc.) and proposes new solutions. Government solutions, largely.

That’s one look at cataclysm, unexpected turns and renewal. Some of the change I expect to see, in myself and others, will be from within. Frankly, I’ve had a window-view of big change as of late – I lost a husband – a good one! – to heart disease suddenly in 2006, and my two young sons have done what young sons often do – they went off to college and life, calling and emailing me remarkably often but nonetheless no longer daily eating my hotdog casserole (recipe not necessary) or savoring my daily advice on Girls, Grades and Grammar. That was big change in my book, and I’m slowly following it with big renewal – closer ties with old and new friends, new love, a new blog (this one! this one!) new speaking engagements, and an updated love affair with boats. Plus, less visibly, a new viewpoint. A few examples: I can now imagine being released from a job (although since I’m self employed I can always have a job, just maybe no pay). Or ending a relationship (personal or business) that makes one feel uninspired or less than worthy. Or perhaps exchanging a spacious home and an hour-long commute for an apartment in town from which one can walk, or bike, to the office. These days I can imagine not only the fear, but also the eventual liberation that a once-unwanted change could bring. Fear and uncertainty aside, I finally see that big change can mean new opportunity – the cliche “when one door closes one door opens” is sometimes true.

There are good reactions and bad reactions to living in The Current Economic Climate. Depending on what extremes you care to go to (and listed here in no particular priority) I venture to classify the following as good and bad responses:

Good: Pointing out to your offspring that college is very expensive and that excellent careers exist in growing fields like Unemployment Check Printing, Developing Dollar Menus at McDonald’s and the like. Better yet, certain of these careers require only a fifth grade education, so you can also save money on school supplies and clothes from Abercrombie & Fitch by forgoing middle and high school.

Bad: Hoarding your money if you still have a good job and could be supporting the rest of us, for example by buying items we’ve placed in our front yards for sale, or have dangled temptingly before you on eBay. Buy something, wouldya?

Good: Letting your cousin or your brother move into your basement when she or he loses that job Printing Unemployment Checks.

Good: Planning for a dreamy life that isn’t so expensive. My little dream? Waiting tables in the Virgin Islands and living in a hut with a grass roof. Yum. (Okay, sure, it’s just a dream and yes, we’ll turn in your projects next week as promised, dear clients!)

Bad: Trying to shame other people because they have to make an income and thus attempt to charge you a living wage. (“How dare you charge me $4 for a latte? Haven’t you read the news?”) Skip the drama and make your own coffee if that’s the way you feel.

Good: Buying an investment property or investing in stocks. But read Suze Orman’s new book and advice columns first, since I don’t know bupkas about this.

Bad: Assuming this slump will last forever. It won’t, especially if you keep working, buying grass huts and humming a little song as you go through your day.

Please tell us the good and bad recession citizenship examples you’re seeing. All our readers are in the mood to hear them because all anybody talks about anymore is… surprise!… The Great Recession! Cheers.

...dream on.

My sister Molly sent the family an email that read:

Last night I dreamed that I had saved my dream as the wrong file type and I couldn’t open it.

First, I must express my admiration of a dream so terse and still so meaningful. It makes my recurring dream of being lost on Commonwealth Avenue in Boston and knowing I need to walk the 90 miles home in the dark seem… well, rather stale.

More to the point, I think my sister just had the ultimate “I’m stressed and not exactly having the time of my life” dream that deserves the 2009 Great Recession Award.*

(*All credit for the term “Great Recession” is ceded to my older son, Zach.)

When I get stressed, I misplace credit cards, keys and other everyday necessities. Sometimes I misplace them in restaurants or public restrooms, which is unfortunate. My sister, apparently, mis-saves dream files.

When I get stressed, I can lose touch with my aspirations, my joys and my confidence. My sister can’t even dream her damn dream.

On the other hand, don’t you think the mind is a wonderful thing? What a creative way for her brain to say, “Hey kid, you could use some downtime and fun, because life is taking you away from yourself.”

May she open her next dream file with ease.

I don’t want to develop a facial tick, or make wrinkled-nose faces while reading or listening to the news. So I’m going to start right now and make a list of TRIGGER PHRASES that are so cloyingly obvious or dull that they turn me into one of those pseudo-intellectual, attired-in-black, library-haunting literary types that YOU NEVER INVITE TO YOUR PARTIES.

Please help me with this list by adding your own “banish me” phrases so that we may save the world.

In the press… those terrible story wrap-ups on TV and radio news – the “duh!” factor:

“And so it seems that the conflict in Gaza is has not nearly reached its conclusion.”

“Wall Street continues to confuse its investors after another down day.”

“Corruption appears to be rampant among the rebel forces.”

“It may be years before the courts determine who is to blame for this sordid mess.”

“It is likely that we will not see a resolution to the tense political situation anytime soon.”

Setting the stage for a news story or editorial:

“In today’s difficult economy …”

“Facing legal and ethical challenges from her opponents…”

“Today, more than ever, businesses face competitive pressures (blah blah blah)”

“This deal helps Wall Street, but what about Main Street?”  (Never, anyone, never, write this one again. And don’t even consider rephrasing it.)

“At times like these…” (add annoying obvious phrase here – make sure it mentions the virtues of saving money, family, eating vegetables grown at home, AND faith in a Higher Power, preferably all in a single sentence)

“It remains to be seen whether the Congress will act.”

“President Bush said today…”   (Ha ha! Guess what! This one will resolve itself in just 12 days!)

Product descriptions that really really inspire:

“We stand for quality.”

“Quality is what sets us apart.”

“Scientists have improved…”

“We have the solution tailored to your specific needs.”

“You too can lose weight while enjoying your favorite foods!”

“You too can lose weight without difficult exercise or painful diets!”

Sigh.

I, for one, am off to find a doughnut. I hope you’ll add your favorite in-the-media cliches to this list. Until next time, I’m signing off!

Enjoying your day?

More smart? Smarter, that’s it.

I guess I knew this, but I forgot. Some of us, and I suspect this includes many entrepreneurs and creative types, work way better under pressure. Not only that, we learn so much more when we suspect it’s vital, not when we’re feeling la-di-da. We also learn more when there are fewer people on hand to help us, like when those people are really busy doing their own thing that we’ve already assigned to them, or maybe they’ve thrown in the towel and moved to a faraway island. (And I’m sorry if I caused that… really I am. You know who you are.)

About learning under duress, stress and the rest. I’m of the generation that grew up not attached to a keyboard. No, I had to learn the hard way – as a young adult. And I’ve gotten pretty good at installing software, troubleshooting, even making an incompatible printer work with my Mac! (Four hours it took, four full hours!) For 2009 business planning in Dismal Economy World, I know it will be important to reach out to clients and prospects in a whole range of ways – from speaking engagements to media relations, mailings to direct personal outreach.

Even as a veteran marketer, I learn new skills when I have to perform unfamiliar hands-on tasks. Like running a slide projector (this is the stuff of nightmares for a verbal learner with no mechanical skills whatsoever). You’d think that the scary part of speaking in front of a large crowd would be… speaking. But for me it’s displaying that damnable PowerPoint presentation. IF I have one.

So, in the perpetual interest of finding something lovely in nearly any situation – just think how much you’ll learn this year! With so little support! How many new horizons! What an enhanced professional you’ll be. Me, too, I hope.

Scams and inspiration... oh, my brain is full.

Two happenings got me thinking this week.

First, the scam. I got the email from a client. It said Talbots is closing all its stores. And J.Jill. Ann Taylor – 117 stores closing. There was more, but I couldn’t see past the tears. After all, I am slightly petite. 5 feet nothing, actually. And like many women, I’ve learned where I should shop and where I shouldn’t. I should shop at Talbots, Ann Taylor and J.Jill.The good news? The email was a fake. Thank heaven! I figured it out before I emptied the stores of everything I could squeeze into.

Second, the reformation. Last night I attended an outstanding event sponsored in part by a client, FieldEddy Insurance. John Zogby, pollster, spoke about his new book The Way We’ll Be: The Zogby Report on the Transformation of the American Dream. John says Americans will focus less on material things (in part because many of us have gone downhill, shall we say, in financial terms). We’ll want our tombstones to say more than that we spent “37 years in a cubicle.” Also, a million people now approaching 60 will live to be 100! He adds that we’ll NEED to live that long if we want ever to retire.

Seriously, he makes some great points: that more isn’t always meaningful, that we’re tired of fake and want authenticity (he pointed to the Dove ad campaign for real beauty, with ads that feature women with real, lovely but imperfect bodies, as an example of how wildly successful that approach can be). IN FACT, we’re so sick of the meaningless and the trivial that we didn’t care about Bill Ayers or “lipstick on a pig” in the recent election. No, we wanted some real help and a real transformation.

Prior to the election, this huge display in Fairhaven, MA read "Obama Now!"

It feels like many Americans, no matter who they voted for, are now very proud of the U.S. for the historic accomplishment of electing our first African American president. I’m proud of us, too.

Of course, the next question is, “what can he do?” The country is in a bit of a pickle, economically speaking. (In fact, I’m burying MY spare change in the backyard and I really hope you won’t dig it up.) Our health care system is great – if you can afford it. We’re mired in Iraq, although to an expert military strategist such as myself it is evident that it’s time to pack up and head home (I know, I know, not so simple). And we continue to be a divided country in so many ways – by religion, social class, political leanings, race, taste in shoes, and more. One election can’t erase that.

However. The last eight years were a study in fear and resignation. Our foreign relations were often embarrassing. Our president couldn’t pronounce “nuclear.” (This is major.) We responded to an attack by retaliating – mostly at the wrong country, since Iraq clearly had nothing to do with 9/11. Oops, sorry, Iraq. Chances are good that that we can do better.

Obama represents even more than our first African American president (and I sort of worry about that term, because like so many of us, he has a mixed lineage and I feel bad labeling him). He is highly intelligent (what a novel idea! a smart president!). He appears to be principled and has the ability to analyze and deal with information in a sensible, non-hotheaded way. And just as lovely is the fact that well over half of voting Americans gave him a mandate and are squarely behind his presidency. While the stock market bounced up and then tumbled during and following the election, showing that optimism is fragile, I do believe that having a president we can be proud of, and one who clearly represents the future and not some worn-out past, will make a difference in citizens’ faith in the U.S. and the way we move forward as a nation.

Could it be??

The words above have inspired me more times than I can count, not just for business but for every effort in which inertia or failure of nerve threaten to take the day.

I’ve been thinking that courage in business (and it’s safe to call it that right now) typically accompanies an inventive, independent approach. Just as I suspect that brave investors are buying into appropriate stocks while they’re in the dregs, energetic businesspeople are grabbing the chance to get their company name and products dancing in the minds of their customers right this very minute. They feel even better as they observe their competitors in hiding, afraid to spend money until “everything is all right again.” (And when will THAT be? If you know, you’re one of very few seers who does. Why wait?)

This may not be the time for an extravaganza of spending or a great show of flash-and-bluster. We agree on this. But public relations, sponsorships, interactive marketing, online surveys to show customers you’re listening… moves like that point out that your firm is a winner – in all seasons and through all conditions.

23 years running this business (Good grief!! Note to self, erase that indicator of my age before publishing post) have taught me that “thinking different” and being a marketing contrarian are signs of business intelligence.